Thursday, October 11, 2012

The secret strong Mom's don't tell you!

I'm going to let you in on a little secret............. Shhhhh don't tell anyone...............

Even strong mom's get scared! Actually probably more, it's that fear that drives their strength. But, every once and a while that fear creeps up not as strength but sometimes in other forms like sadness, or resentment. 

For every 100th day that I wake up and look at my little guy and think, "God, you're so perfect you're going to have such a great life", there's a day where I go into another room where ever it is in the shower or late at night and think "This isn't fair!"

When I found out I was pregnant I kept thinking "I hope it's a boy so he can play pee wee football and Bella can be a pee wee cheerleader" I know this is a silly little thing but what makes me happy all fall/winter is weekend football and I love it in every form from high school to NFL. Even to the point that we're hoping to reach out to the Western MA Warrior's semi-pro football team when we start fundraising for out Rock N Roll for with Team Warrior Eddie! I think my little man is such a warrior! By definition {a person who shows or has shown great vigor, courage, or aggressiveness}.  This, this is the strong mommy talking.

The other day I overheard a couple of ladies talking about their sons playing pee-wee football. For some reason it hit me so hard. I get that my little guy is going to do so many amazing things. Things I can't even imagine right now but for some reason that little thing, the idea that I won't get to watch him run around in those adorable little football uniforms and me getting crazy aggressive and nuts watching him. (Yes, I am that crazy person while watching a football game) That equaled an in the shower cry, then I see him bright and early in the morning holding that little monkey giving it kisses and then passing it to my face for me to kiss it and then burying his face in mine to be lovey. That's when I realize that this kid is so cuddly and lovey, let's be real, he's no football player. He may be a warrior but I can't see him going after and tackling another kid. I see him nicely asking for the football. That's when I realized that no matter what, my kids are going to pave their own way and not the one that I made up for them. Kind of like how Bella is all about pink and princesses and Barbies (none of the things I know anything about) not the tomboy I envisioned. These are not disappointments just a new scenic route. That's the whole point of having kids right, to see them develop themselves and find what they love and do great or not so great! 

So get up strong mommies and no more pity party! Get over your "plan" for them and let them make their own "plan"! 

So, go Patriot's! go put your kids in some crazy fan clothes or whatever you love because one day they'll be a Giant's fan and you'll think what happened to my kid? (Just ask my family, all Red Sox fans and I'm a Yankee fan!)

An old photo, but one of my favs!

1 comment:

  1. Hugs! Love reading your honesty.

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