Saturday, October 26, 2013

Imperfect Mommy's need a night out too

Social media has officially made me beyond annoyed at times!  This imperfect mommy (otherwise known as special needs mommy) feels like crap when I see all of the Mommy's with their perfect kids showing off all the fun stuff they do or all the fun mom nights out they get with their perfect mom crews. Well us imperfect momma's don't really have as many hours in the day. For example a typical day for me. 
*Drop Bella at school 
*Attempt to grab a quick coffe through the drive thru
*Go to swim therapy group /gross motor group
*Attempt to catheter in the trunk of the car while avoiding getting pee everywhere as well as poop since a blow out is inevitable this time of day thanks to the bowel issues
*Drive home while attempting to keep Eddie awake so he doesn't fall asleep in car and can eat lunch at home
*Wake Eddie up once we're home since he feel asleep
*Feed him lunch while catching food thrown on floor
*Put Eddie down for a nap and listen to him cry for 20 minutes since he slept in the car
*Send one email
*Wake Eddie up right after he finally falls asleep
*Go pick up Bella at school

That's all before 3pm. This not including any after school activities with Bella and dinner and homework and bed. A few catheters in there somewhere too along with meds. 

Thank goodness for iPhone alarms! 

So I've decided these imperfect mamas deserved a night out like the rest of you. For good food and better drinks! Along with lots of talk about our lives without feeling like someone is going to tell us how strong we are or how our kids are miracles. So once every two weeks we're having a night out! Last meet up there was 3 of us and this week 7! Can't wait to see how many of us we can get together. Take that perfect mamas! We have a crew too! 

(Want to credit Gina and Pat writers of "Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid" who originally coined the term Imperfect Mommy/Kid) 

Quickly I wanted to mention that at the conference last month and the Abilities Expo we received a ton of catheter samples and I've had a chance to use some this week. I was curious if I'd like them better than the ones Holister sent me from my Secure Start research and conversations. Ugh, definitely not. Let's just say diaper changes were a bit messy. So the Secure Start process with Holister wasn't one of those too easy to be good events. It actually was that easy to discuss, research and find the right catheter for us. I do wish the bag was a bit smaller since we only get about 50-100mL's at a time but I'm guessing this is because the catheters we use are for adults and pediatrics. Also, a catheter that only goes one way and doesn't slip back into the bag would be so much easier too, holding eddies legs and inserting the cath with one hand while takes some serious dexterity.  Either way they've worked great for us! 


  1. I am so glad that I found this blog. I live in Chicago so I can't make your nights out but oh boy do I need one. I have some very sweet friends (helps that I am a therapist and so are they) but some of my family and other mom's at my older boy's school are just .....wellllll.....they just don't think before they speak. I don't know how many times I hear..."well he will be fine right, they have like surgery for that and he will be fine." I feel so dismissed or that others are too uncomfortable to ask questions. They just assume and move on leaving me feeling like crap. Last, I actually had a mom at my older son's school say to another mom that I probably didn't take my prenatal vitamins....she thought I couldn't hear her.....when I was explaining to another woman about my son's Spina Bifida. So thank you for this blog. It has been a rough few weeks lately. I will follow and you have inspired me to start writing in my blog again soon. Take care! and keep blogging.

  2. I understand. I feel the same way. People are so lucky, that they have these "perfect" kids, & these amazing lives. They get to sleep at night, they get to shower by themselves, they get to have friends.

    Nicky is still up 10-25X a night, every single night. Still can't regulate his bowel movements. His eating is rarely ever on target. He is still on infant formula because he can't get enough sustenance from food. He is with me every minute of every single day. I am mommy AND daddy. When I sleep, he's next to me in bed. I dread night time, because I know it's going to be dragging my eyes open, painfully, to deal with his crying, every few minutes. It's been over 2 years since I've gotten sleep. It drains a person. When I shower, he is in the shower with me, every time. I haven't seen my friends in years. I kid you not, years. I have nobody to vent to at the end of the day, since neither of my kids have a dad, & my family is judgmental, rather than supportive. I don't even feel like a person anymore. Just a machine, that goes goes goes goes goes. I envy people who get to sleep at night. Whose kids have a dad. Who get to have friends. The only way I get through the day is reminding myself that thins will eventually get better.

    So I can empathize with you, 100%. It's not ideal... but it helps us develop strengths that others could only imagine.

  3. I can relate, except I have 2 special needs children, as opposed to 1. & I am also a single mommy, so my kids don't have a dad, & I don't have any help or moral support.

    It's nice to get a little night out together for moms like us (: Wish I could do something like that, but I literally have not had a night off in 2.5 years, or even a couple hours during the day off, in the same amount of time. My 2 year old is with me every single minute of every single day, sleeping, showers, bathroom trips, my doctor's appts (even ob-gyn! lol no joke). So, the idea of a little break for myself is not plausible. But I'm happy that some people are able to have that (: Everyone always talks about how EVERYBODY needs a break sometimes, to recharge. I agree, but I've made it 2.5 years without a break & I'm still relatively sane, hanging in there. LOL (:

    Have fun!